Practice what you preach

I will be the first to admit that I do not know it all and I'm glad God is gentle when He points this out.  Yesterday, I wrote about the necessity of eating healthy on a daily basis; so what happened today is just a reminder to stay humble and continue giving all the credit to my Jesus.

So... Here's my lesson in humility:

I woke up with an article about the toxicity of artificial sweeteners displayed on my phone this morning (only God truly knows why that was there).  So, I HAD to share truth with my readers right away!!  My husband, the sweet man he is, brought me a cup of coffee, which I proceeded to sweeten with So Delicious Dairy Free Vanilla Coconut Milk and Stevia sweetener.

While drinking my coffee, I had several questions about Zeal Wellness and requests to order Zeal for Life come through my email and via phone.  So, wanting to help people and share truth in order for people to be free of the mind/body block I discussed yesterday, I forgot to take care of ME!!

I'm sitting there on my back porch wiggling around, anxious, wondering why I'm feeling "off".

"Oh, I'm hot, I'll go jump in the pool." -Good idea, but it was only temporarily satisfying.

"I don't want to go anywhere!! All I want to do is stay home.  I don't want to go test beds. (sorry hunnie for snapping) I just don't feel right." -Body is screaming at me and I'm too stuck in my own crap (excuse the pun) to see what to do!

"Hmmm... I'm hungry.  That must be it.  But... my husband is supposed to be home so we can go grocery shopping together.  If I leave the house, I'm only doing it once.  I'm pissed." -My mind is getting in the way of my true needs.

"Okay, forget it! I'm not waiting any longer.  I need to go deposit my check at the bank.  I'm starving and we've eaten all our healthy stuff.  The farmers market is closed, plus it's raining! I'm going to Taco Bell; because I'm hungry and I NEED to take care of this problem NOW." - Mind justifying wrong behavior.

To learn more about way of being states, please look to Arbinger

I will admit I felt slightly guilty at the thought of going to Taco Bell because of my previous post about eating healthy, but I thought... "I'll test the sources.  Is Taco Bell bad for my body?"  I'm still in my justification "I deserve" mentality up to this point. My way of being is not right toward myself or others.

I'm thinking that people aren't understanding me. I need to further prove myself.

So, I find myself driving to Taco Bell and I'm feeling great! "I want a Nacho Supreme and a Ranchero Chicken soft taco! Yep, I'm going to get mine."  But I kept feeling this sense; a question in my mind. "What are you doing Stephanie?  You already know that fast food doesn't work with your body!"

Big fat: IGNORE!!

I pull up to the drive-thru and the menu is incredible!  "Whoa, they have ALL this?!? I've been so blind.  I'll think I'll choose the 7 layer healthy burrito! Ya, that sounds awesome." Sound familiar? Read the story of Jesus being tempted. :-)

So, I order something that my body feels okay with.  Why?  Because I CAN!! Still, I'm in that "I deserve box".  "I deserve fast food because my body is choosing something healthy on the menu."
Just as soon as I thought that, a new thought entered my head "I came here for a Nacho Supreme and a Chicken Soft Taco, so that's what I'm going to get!!  But wait, I'm not sure if I trust the chicken here.  I guess I'll do a Mexican Pizza instead."

Cool, done. Changed order.  All the while, I'm wondering to myself "where is my mental clarity, why can't I make decisions, I feel crazy!!"

It was only after I paid and pulled away from the window that I realized the most important thing I'm going to say to you right now, so I hope you're listening: I did not honor my sense to do what was right. I went out into the world unprotected.  I had forgotten to drink my Zeal for Life to get the nutrients that my body needed to get me through the day; which is why I was tempted toward unhealthy food choices.  I had also chosen to not read my Bible or eat anything healthy because "people needed me".  But, by then, it was too late.  I had allowed for the mind/body block in my own state of anxiety and didn't set aside time for ME from the minute I woke up.

I drove home with a sense of determination.  I got my confidence back because I allowed myself to admit that I was wrong.  I had to tell you all that I still slip up!  I don't know it all yet.  I'm still learning.

That said, I'm fortunate to have resources and strength (not my own, but of the Holy Spirit) to draw from because this is hard to admit, but shouldn't be.

I pulled up my Bible Promises App on my iPhone and read my daily promise, which is:

The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.
Proverbs 18:10

I realized in that instant that I can't be ashamed to share with the world that I still struggle.  I have to step out of that "I deserve box" on a moment-by-moment basis in order to stay humble.

There are so many free resources to people out there who are searching, so I hope in sharing my testimony, that you are challenged to seek truth on your own.  Don't just take my word for it. :-)

On a side note, I'm happy to report that I tried to eat my "unhealthy" Taco Bell choice (instead of going with the vegetarian burrito) while writing this blog entry and I was not satisfied.  I attempted to push aside the beef because it tasted strange to me and just eat the beans, cheese, sour cream and chips, but it made my stomach hurt.  So, I threw it in the garbage and let my food for thought be enough.

Now my husband is home and we can jump back into offering ourselves to God to build with us and do with us as HE so chooses! -Our morning prayer found on page 63 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Looking forward to trying out Tempurpedic Mattresses; highly recommended, for re-balancing neurology, by my amazing Chiropractor husband who reminds me again on a daily basis that there is something to be learned from everyone, no matter their walk of life.