Sneak Peek --Part 2

Jennifer Riley was ready for a day off. Her life lately had been a juggling act of work, college courses, dealing with her teenage son and maintaining a home. She loved being a mother although sometimes she wondered if she had failed miserably. Her middle daughter, Jane, had recently announced her engagement to a man twenty years her senior and moved to Texas without so much as a goodbye. Jezebel was a different story. She had been missing for nearly a month and no one had heard a word from her.

As she did every morning, Jennifer got on her knees and prayed.  Lord, thank you for being faithful. I lift my children up to you, Heavenly Father. Your word tells me to not be anxious about anything and I’m not going to lie, I’m struggling with that. But I trust You. Please be with my daughters and thank you for blessing me with the strength to get through another day.

As she rose from the spot beside her bed and stretched, her heart was overwhelmed with peace. I am with you. There is a time for everything. She loved how the Lord spoke truth to her when she needed comfort the most.

Her agenda for the day was fairly simple.  She only needed to clean the bathroom and sweep the house, then she was planning to curl up in bed and read the latest book by one of her favorite Christian authors.  As she set about her chores, her mind drifted back to a long ago memory of when her family was whole, happy and together.

It was the year 2000, shortly after the Y2K scare and they were living in a small town in Kansas.  Her husband, Dan, had recently accepted the position of Senior pastor of the community church and the family had packed up their meager belongings and made the cross country move from Arizona to Kansas. Often times Jennifer felt like Dorothy wishing for a place to call home that was not humid and didn’t resemble a flat prairie, though she daily asked God to give her a heart of contentment.  It was not long before they all settled into a routine and began to acclimate to the new surroundings.

Perhaps the hardest part of the move for Jennifer was seeing what it had done to her children.  The three of them had been uprooted and were expected to settle down and carry on with life as usual.  The particularly challenging piece was that the kids were home schooled and did not have much opportunity for making friends. Daniel often reminded the family to stick together. “Friends come and go, but family will always be there for each other.” He would say after an argument between the girls. “You should learn to be best friends, someday when you are grown up that friendship will mean the world to you.”

As the memories lifted, Jennifer was struck with a deep sense of sorrow. “If only those statements had proven true, maybe we wouldn’t have such a mess on our hands.” She muttered as she scrubbed the toilet. Daniel had walked out on the family 3 years previous. Family will always be there for each other. You did a great job of setting that example. Sometimes she hated the bitterness and resentment that welled up inside of her like a teakettle screaming on a hot burner.  She once again reminded herself to remain in a place of peace and focus on forgiveness. Lord, he will have to stand before you and be judged. Thank you that it is not my job.

As she was sweeping the house, she could hear her cell phone ringing in her bedroom but decided to ignore it. Today is MY day. Whoever it is can wait. After several hours, she finally decided to force herself to stop cleaning. She always did this; ended up dusting, tending to the laundry, pulling weeds in the backyard and today she had even begun sorting through the storage piles in the garage. She fixed herself a sandwich and a glass of iced tea to enjoy while reading her book.

Jennifer had just sat down on her bed to read when she glanced at her phone. Five missed calls from the same number, one that she didn’t recognize. Strange. It’s a local area code and I don’t have any idea who it might be. She was about to call the number back when her phone began to ring again.

“Hello?”

“Yes, is this Mrs. Riley?” asked a woman with a warm voice. Her tone was somewhere between friendly and alarmed.

“This is she. May I ask who’s calling?” Jennifer took a sip of her iced tea as she waited for a response.

“Yes, sorry ma’am. This is Dr. Alcorn from Grace Hospital. Are you sitting down?” the woman was pleasant but did nothing to calm the sense of panic that had washed over Jennifer.

“Yes, I am. What is wrong?” Jennifer closed her eyes and offered up a silent prayer.

“Your daughter Jezebel is here in ICU.” Said Dr. Alcorn “She appears to be severely dehydrated and malnourished. We are treating some external wounds and working to stabilize her. I’d like you to come down as soon as possible to sign off on some consent forms.”

As Jennifer listened, she felt the blood drain from her face and breathing became extremely difficult. “Umm. Yes. Sure. I can be there in 25 minutes.” She replied while trying to catch her breath. “May I speak with her?”

“I’m sorry Mrs. Riley, but your daughter is in a coma. She was found in an alley downtown. The only way we knew to contact you was from the phone number on the back of a family photo in Jezebel’s pocket.” The doctor paused and took a deep breath before adding, “I would recommend you get here as quickly as you can.”

Jennifer didn’t even say goodbye. She quickly jumped off her bed, grabbed her purse and flew out the front door. Not again. Lord, please keep my baby safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was foggy and life seemed like a distant memory. Jezebel had no idea where she was but it felt similar to being in a dream. Her entire body hurt, she couldn’t see clearly and she was having trouble breathing. She wanted to pinch herself to find out if she were dreaming but the alarming reality settled in around her like the weight of the world on her shoulders; she couldn’t move.

As she desperately tried to lift her arm to pinch herself or even open her eyes to make sense of the situation she heard a faint beeping in the distance. Perhaps the distance wasn’t so far away. She could feel the struggle of each breath and could hear the gentle hum of machines and that beeping somewhere just beyond her unconscious mind.

The memories came like a flood and she could do nothing to stop them. She was ten again, washing windows and craving the approval of her dad. She was twelve years old, tearfully saying goodbye to friends and family as they set off for the “adventure” to Kansas. She was thirteen and struggling to fit in with her peers. Then at fifteen, she was arguing with her parents about being home schooled for high school. “I just want to be normal! Why can’t I go to school like everyone else?” Jezebel shouted.

Her parents meant well, but they had kept her sheltered for her entire life and to Jezebel it felt like a prison sentence. Dan and Jennifer wanted to keep her safe from the negative influences of the world. They raised her in the church and she had a deep understanding of the Bible, but she didn’t like all of the rules. She wanted to fit in and “figure things out on her own”.

In the end, as always, her parents won the debate. Jezebel started working part time at a deli while being home schooled and began to enjoy the small taste of freedom.  She finally had something that she could do by herself and she loved it. She took pride in her work and quickly connected with her customers. The pleasure she experienced in relating to others began to instill in her a desire to help and serve those around her. She loved the joy that came in giving to others and caring about them as valuable human beings.

Just as soon as she began to discover who she was and was developing some semblance of self-esteem and normalcy, the devastating blow of another move appeared on the horizon. You’d think a sixteen-year-old girl would be excited to move all the way across the Pacific and live in Hawaii for a chapter in life, but this girl was tired of change. Jezebel had learned to ignore and minimize the instability of her home life but a complete change of environment created an unpredictable instability that she was not ready to face. Regardless of whether she was ready or not, they were leaving in two months.

It was time to face reality again and “get over it.” By it, her dad meant her attitude, thinking life wasn’t fair and her ‘all about me mentality’. Those statements hurt but Jezebel had long ago learned to stuff them deep inside her heart and keep moving forward. Someday, she would think, life will get better. Someday, I will be able to relax and enjoy life. But apparently, someday is not today.